I'm too sexy for my gender

not only do we have to worry about whether hipsters are gay or straight but now we have to worry about whether they're male or female?

the fazzio philosophy: if you have to look twice, it's not worth it.

and we're back.

the theory continues

iz in yo toyz

check into AA

holy sheezee american apparel sells shirts in PMS colors?

Remind me to thank Jesus the next time I'm in the walnut store.

not my BFF

I've decided that we're going to start blaming anything that goes wrong in philly on Benjamin Franklin.

he gets so much credit around here and I bet he was a real teabag.

I WILL BREAK YOU

Another intelligent conversation in my office today about the quotes of the great Ivan Drago from Rocky IV (aka the best Rocky).

And while watching memorable clips like hearts on fire montages realized... Obama did not steal his speeches from MLK or JFK... but from Rocky IV (min 3:00 in).

burning up

conversation had in our office:
the level of trust you have in a guy in relation to how long his sideburns are.

the less sideburns the less I trust you.
the longer the sideburns the more I trust you.

none = don't talk to me
full white beard = santa!!!

I don't know how exactly this will be designed on a t-shirt but I believe a graph is involved.

you breed raptors?

yet another webcomic to read instead of doing work.

little known fact

did you hear our theory?

no.

That his name wasn't Bill Cosby.

what?

His name was Billk Osby.

and?

That's it. First name Billk. Last name Osby. Billk Osby.

That's the theory..

Yes.

how many hit shows can you fit into daily conversation?

I mean, who's the boss? ya know? we're going through some major growing pains right now.

whatever. It's all step by step.

the bees knees

there better be some may %&#$@! flowers

TFGIF

a new solution for work anger.

and on the third day

brent: 'wait, jesus is in that movie?'

my next album cover

I found my calling

snarls charkley

you're having the best week ever (on my itunes), gnarls.

just try not to get an epileptic seizure like all the other 2 people who watched the video on MTV.

top'a the muffin to you

screw you, facebook ad

just give me a mint

I'm sick of these fortune cookies that aren't really fortunes.

'you're a happy man'
'you'd make a good lawyer'
'it is a sunny day'

They're statements. Statement cookies. Bad Advice Cookies. I always end up throwing the 'fortune' down, yelling an obscenity, then to feel better I break off an extremely small piece of the cookie.

For some reason I forget every time that tastes like crappy sugar coated cardboard.

Could I please just get something fake about my future?

I lose weight excessively every week

"Polyphenols, the compounds found in red wine, help your body block fat absorption, an Israeli study found."

yes!

happy friday

jobs and boys

just another reason why we need to start our book about how jobs and relationships are the same thing.

get a job

kathleen ripped a cartoon out of philadelphia weekly that said,
'I'm going to quit my job so I can focus on pursuing my dream of owning a chariot pulled by hundreds of house cats.'

you can get other great insights by natalie dee

sexual healing

For some reason in advertising... anything goes. The amount of things I've heard could pretty much get your fired anywhere else. Apparently we enjoy the finer things in life like beer, profanity, sexual harassment and racism.

Things said today:

'I'm never sleeping with you again.'

'I'd air hump you any day!'

'It's going to need to be done fast. A quickie.'
'Oh you'd know all about that wouldn't you?'

Things made today:
by gonick

junk in the trunk

just in case you wanted to know how you sized up to a giant squid.

kick old school in the face

a lep is a ball
a korf is a tiger
a pillot is a shoe
a tay is a hammer
a flix is a comb

(understanding this reference requires at least 3 years of delaware county catholic gradeschooling)

touched for the very first time

"Madonna said Obama is likely to do very well in Philadelphia, with a large African-American electorate, and may win in the city's suburbs, which have the same kinds of upscale, well-educated professionals that have gone for Obama in recent contests."
- CNN article

oh hey great thanks madonna.

iDied

an ad I thought was crazy cool. it's to create awareness... apparently there are millions of teens dying from crossing the streets with their ipod on? eek.

hipster or homeless?

dress to impress.

topa the charts

and other informational charts.

remixes, you're having the best week ever.

(on my itunes)

In the Morning - Junior Boys - Remix by Hot Chip. I've been obsessing with remixes lately but this one took my cake this week. happy friday!

my future in advertising

i'll be using this as an excuse to not stay at work until 2 am.

farewell cubemate.

in a new office. which really means i'll get through the divorce by wasting more time talking to brent online.

election or erection?

would you rather makeout with hilary clinton or john mccain?

won't you tell me how to get to the corner

count, you dog you.

yes I can

apparently I should be dating barack obama.

and the oscar goes to

Category:
Best Title of 2007 that the phrase 'in my pants' can follow.

Nominees:
"No Country For Old Men"
"Across the Universe"
"Into the Wild"
"No End In Sight"
"La Vi En Rose"
"There Will Be Blood"

thoughts by zach

If heath ledger falls with no one to hear it, does it make a sound?

bon iver, you're having the best week ever

I decided every friday I'm going to post which song is having the best week ever (on my itunes).

I've listened to Bon Iver's Skinny Love about 185 times in the past 185 mins. and don't forget to pronounce his name french-like.

more tail than scott baio

me: 'So, Brent, do you ever get that weird twin thing with your brother where you feel his feelings?'

Brent: 'When I feel like a dumbass.'

new goal: start collecting brent quotes.

I'll have balls for 500, alex

officially immature when I do both of the following:

1. crack up at last night's teen jeopardy category.
2. design a logo about it to cheer up a coworker.

vote or die

see who you agree with on the issues.

signs

bearded america

too soon?

why so serious?

names we put in the high scores on the touch-screen-game-o-tron at the bar:

HEATH LEDGER
DEATH LEDGER
HEATH DEDGER
OXY COTTON
MICHELLE W
LEATH HEDGER
THE LEDGE
PEACE LEDGER
NICK DRAKE

that's bird nor plane

I was watching the news at home with my family.

this picture came up and my mom couldn't stop laughing.

I know now where i get my humor.

"The police officer caught the baby, and he is now doing well."

silly bunny. tricks are for chicks.

bunny: [buh-knee] n.
a boy who is scared of hot, intelligent, and funny women. Gets intimidated easily. Most likely will wait to do anything worthwhile unless he is approached, called, or texted by hot, intelligent, and funny women.

bear: [bair] n.
a hot, intelligent, and funny woman.

inspired by swingers, interpreted by us ladies:

"You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws and with fangs ...big fucking teeth, man. And they're just like this little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.

Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?" And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...

Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the bunny's scared, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.

You're like a big bear, man."

underage church goers

Kathleen and I went to the Dan Deacon show at the Church on Sunday. We were the oldest ones there by a long shot.

We played games such as:

Who here isn't in high school
Where did the hot dad go
Who can yell 'breakup before college' the loudest

We won't be going back to the Church, even if we did get to see ahhhhnold.

where we're going we don't need roads

I'm a nintendo nerd at heart. Run little mac. Run.

are you sure?

I'm in spank rock's armpit.

you've got red on you

great for all occasions!
family functions!
church!
client meetings!
sexual intercourse!

at least you're not pregnant

My future husband better think this is funny, otherwise I'm dumping him.

dear god, i pulled the 'it's me' line

the 'find of the day' from one of my favorite websites.

next goal: look at the ground more when I walk. That's how you find things like black family portraits and snapshots of girls named jane.

how to make lasagne

(click image to enlarge)

boys on bikes

Ford showed me this weird book the other day. It's clubs and organizations from all around the country, but from the 1970's.

So of course I made the intern scan in all the pics.

Next goal: make these pictures into weird screen printed cards.

mmm look at those hotties.

I blogged all over my desk

urban dictionary defines blog as:

n. short for weblog.

A meandering, blatantly uninteresting online diary that gives the author the illusion that people are interested in their stupid, pathetic life. Consists of such riveting entries as 'homework sucks' and 'I slept until noon today.'